“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” – Genesis 2:18
If you are a wife, then you are called to be your husband’s help meet. And if you are not yet a wife, but are praying to be one day, then you will be called to be your husband’s help meet, and as the Lord so wills. I can ask many women today what they believe this word means and I’ll either get a blank look or a shortened definition of simply helping her husband. But it is important we know what help meet really means when God says it in the Word. I will go ahead and begin this blog with a warning of sorts: If you already don’t trust God at His Word, then none of these blogs will be profitable for you. God has not called me to teach with my feelings or cater to other’s feelings, and neither teach “my truth” or “your truth” for neither of those are THE truth, but to teach by His Word alone obediently led by His Spirit alone. The more you surrender to Christ, the more beauty you’ll see in His order and His ways for all that He has created and designed for His good pleasure and His Glory.
He is wise, I am not.
For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. – 1 Corinthians 11:12-13
The Lord says you were created for your husband. One biblical definition for the Word “help meet” (‘ezer/ayzer ke-negdo in Hebrew) is a helper suited to, worthy of, or corresponding to him. Proper. Fit. Perfect. Good. Well-equipped in help meeting his needs. Bottom-line: We need each other. It is a symbiotic relationship. He is the head under Christ, and you are the neck that turns that head (yea, definitely kidding on that last part). Sounded good to your flesh, didn’t it? But, beloved, you are the body that helps the head gets things done – and what an honor that is! You are his counterpart. His suitable helper. His confidant in battle, and, sister, we are in battle. In the areas where he is weak, you may be strong. In the areas where you are weak, he is strong. But all bringing glory to the Lord in your unity and obedience. Him loving you as Christ loves the Church, and you reverencing and submitting to him as the Church unto Christ. Your husband whether you like it or not is the final shot-caller. He may come to you for advice and guidance if he so sees fit, but at the end of the day you are to help meet his plans for your lives as long as it’s nothing that outright goes against the Word of God, such as harming yourself or others in anyway, even spiritually. And also his mission in Christ. For you were created for him. Not my words, but God’s.
How I may be a help meet to my husband doesn’t necessarily mean that is how God calls you to be a help meet to yours. We all have unique husbands. Where as my husband, a pastor and evangelist, may need me to help schedule things for him, to remind him of important dates because he has trouble remembering such things, to cook home-made meals, to see to our children as he studies the Word or pray, to keep a tidy home (though he is understanding if it always isn’t or he even helps me if I have other help meet tasks on my plate), to be the technology genius because he cannot stand it, to sew his tattered clothes because he loves the outdoors, to talk over the Word with, or just outright be a goofball with him sometimes. Whereas your husband may desire you to work also to contribute to the family funds (which is not unbiblical at all. The Proverbs 31 woman did and still was a keeper at home, we’ll discuss this later), to rub his feet after a long day, to have a fresh, hot pot of coffee ready for him in the mornings, to bring him lunch on his job everyday, to look presentable and modest by a certain hour (which as God’s daughter you should do anyway), or to simply be the smile he says every morning when he wakes up and every night before he goes to sleep. Just be his help meet and with a merry heart. As written in Proverbs 17:22, ” A merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a crushed spirit drieth the bones.” And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord you shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for you serve the Lord Christ (Colossians 3:23-24).
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. – Proverbs 18:22
Please do not read this blog and think you are inferior, dear soul. Do not let the enemy pervert what is good. I’m not about to tell you that we are better than men (though we are neither less than them spiritually) or that we do not need our men, because that would be a lie from hell. Did you know the Lord says that you are a gift to your husband? How beautiful is that. A virtuous, Godly woman is a crown to her husband (Proverbs 12:4). More than a precious jewel (Proverbs 31:10). And any man of God knows that – my husband surely reminds me often! The hard truth for some is that we are the weaker vessel of the two (1 Peter 3:7), but it neither takes away from our being heirs together in grace. Your husband needs you. You need him. The Bible says the proverbial 31 woman’s husband praises her alongside their children. What a woman who understood her assignment and a man who understood her value!
(If you would like to get a fuller understanding of the “weaker vessel” meaning and our roles as wives, there is a video on my personal Facebook page that I shared about a year ago and is now available on Youtube. It can be found under the ‘Just For You’ > ‘Video Bible Studies’ section that can be found from the home page of this site.)
For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. – Ephesians 5:31-32
I want you to read this paragraph with a holy fear and awe-full reverence to and for God, because though it be last, it is surely not be least. Our earthly marriages are suppose to reflect the spiritual marriage of Christ and His betrothed, the Church. We are to set an example for all those who look upon our marriages of God’s beautiful, wondrous work and love for us and our adoration and respect for Him. Marriage is not always easy. As I have said before and will say again, it is hard and holy work – and worth every bit of it! It does not come without trial, but if you two be in the Lord, your three-corded string will not be easily broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12). So let’s not bring open, neither private, shame unto the Lord by our disobedience to His Word and trying to do things are own way, believing ourselves to know better. O foolish, woman who thinks she knows better than God and His order. I once was one. And I have never experienced such peace, rest, joy and, dare I even say, empowerment since I surrendered my will to His. My marriage is blessed for it. So very blessed.
And what if your husband is not a believer? Or what if he is not a strong spiritual leader in your home in your eyes? What if he does not walk in his role? We will talk on such subjects soon, but I will say this… it does not permit you to not be faithful and obedient to his lead or to try and take the lead. It does not permit you to blaspheme to Word of God. Be a help meet and let God handle the rest – for only He can.
With much love to all God’s dearly beloved,
Alicia – The Redeemed Wife